Once a year, Twitter’s snark sharks get to gorge on their greatest chum bucket: The Oscars. Since sifting through the comments about bridesmaid-worthy dresses and stoned hosts can be time-consuming, Clutch now offers up 25 tweets that floated above the couture-infested waters.
jezebel: RT @nancygoldstein: Those of us who have been to Jewish girls overnight camp consider Black Swan a documentary. #Oscars
LisaMarieP519: RT @sherriva: Look under your seats! You allllllll get an OOOOOssssccccaaarrrrrr!!!!! #Oprah #Oscars
GemmaFlynn: Don’t go Billy Crystal! Do some banter with Jack! Wait, is Jack Nicholson even at this g-ddamn event?! #f—sake #Oscars
dressinlikesin: RT @GeiKo57: The Miami Heat should be at the Academy Awards getting the Oscars for all the f—ing acting their doing on this court… #ManUP!
tawnafenske: Amen. RT @ScrewyDecimal: Robert Downey Jr. should host the Oscars. And by host the Oscars, I mean marry me.
jeffgreenspoon: RT @brandchannelhub: The Social Network wins Best Editing nod, while Facebook won’t let you edit what you post. #hmm #Oscars
alison_willard: I love the categories that are just geeks who do their jobs well.they r always the most interesting and talented ppl #Oscars
WWCCblog: I’d be so pissed if my #oscars speech was cut short and then like 5 minutes later I had to f—ing watch Gwynneth Paltrow sing.
DanSparano: Hurry up and show the death montage I wanna go to sleep. #Oscars
Indigocrush: RT @RealGilbert: I wish #RoberDowneyJr would get back on drugs and make this show a little more interesting. #Oscars
smeykunz: RT @j_bauer: Social Network wins Best Editing. They did a great job keeping all those hoodies in the shot. #Oscars
MarriedWDinner: I’m 100% sure that watching you all tweet about the Oscars is way more entertaining than actually watching them.
TheLDHipster: Do they invite black people to the Oscars yet? (Seriously? This show is whiter than BYUTV)
ungaro: IF ur still alive. RT @drgoddess: Robt Downey, Jr. Here 2remind all u Negroes the warondrugs is a farce; & U still don’t have a job. #Oscars
neocloud9: RT @ANNZac: Oscar Fun Fact: They had Billy Crystal in a cryo-chamber underneath the Kodak theater with a ‘Break in Case of Sh—y Oscars’ label on it
metsguy234: RT @BorowitzReport: Let’s lay off Franco. The marijuana was obviously medicinal, what with losing his arm and all. #Oscars
KristiColleen: RT @AaronBillard: When people at award shows thank their wives, are they really just saying, ‘I’m not gay.? #Oscars
jenochej: RT @ConanObrien: Watching the Oscars. Not crazy about the womb Natalie Portman’s baby chose to wear
hoytsterr: RT @Swheet30 I’m tweeting with Norm MacDonald about how bad the Oscar’s is, instead of having sex with my girlfriend…worth it! #Oscars
natflores: RT @heems: is matthew mcconaughy the only person of color we’ll see on the oscars tonight?
YOSUMAS: RT @TheOnion: Don’t recognize the person 9 rows up, 15 seats in. Must be Banksy. #Oscars
Brain_Wash: If you really loved those kids, you wouldn’t make them go back to Staten Island. #Oscars
Weegee: Ok one more. “They couldn’t invite a school from LA to do this?” — My Mom. #Oscars
WaldenE: RT @kelly_carlin: RT @pattonoswalt: “Capn’! The snark filters are nearly burned out!” — Angus, the lovable Twitter Chief Engineer #Oscars
Ieatmykidzsnack: Ladies & Gentlemen may I present the future of MTV’s “Staten Island.” #Oscars
Go on and post your favorites in the comments.