Relax, Everyone, Facebook Isn’t Going Anywhere

Facebook is shutting down on March 15 because running the website has become way too stressful for Mark Zuckerberg. That’s the gist of a story published this weekend by The Weekly World News, the vaunted news organization responsible for stories about Derek Jeter signing with the Red Sox and Megan Fox being a man, among other bats*** crazy things.

The story is, of course, a bunch of crap. But this is America and believing things that aren’t true is a time-honored tradition here. So how do you know people are falling for this story?  The phrase “facebook shutting down” is currently trending on Google and there are upwards of 10,000 comments on the WWN story, saying things like, “oh noo!! can’t believe,. FAceboook is a real cyber world where ppl can know each other. There i can reach out my friends, there i can feel everything,. :((.”

Just in case you’re thinking WWN might have gotten it’s first story ever right, Facebook has shot the whole thing down. “The answer is no, so please help us put an end to this silliness,” Facebook Director of Corporate Communications Larry Yu told Mashable. “We didn’t get the memo about shutting down and there’s lots to do, so we’ll just keep cranking away like always.”

We know Tommy Lee Jones says supermarket tabloids are the only reliable news sources in “Men in Black,” but this is really taking things too far, guys.