Everyone who pays even the slightest bit of attention to hip-hop knows that, from time to time, it gets real--shots are fired, arrests are made, prison sentences are handed down. Lawlessness is part of the business, really--something to build a rapper's cred and add a bit of grit to an increasingly safe music scene. But, sad to say, not all heat is created equal. For every Lil Wayne or Shyne arrested for gun charges or assault (you know, respectable crimes), there's an MC who gets cuffed for something super lame. Check out our list of the rap game's lamest arrests.
The crime: Traffic warrant
Why it's lame: We want to make this clear to all readers who happen to be Suge Knight: We are NOT making fun of Suge Knight! That dude has done some crazy stuff in his day--including stints in prison and, allegedly, dangling Vanilla Ice off a hotel balcony by his ankles (something both parties deny because, duh). We've got to say though, getting arrested for unpaid speeding tickets is a bit beneath the Godfather of gangsta rap.
The crime: Assaulting a bouquet of flowers
Why it's lame: Queensbridge, Queens native N.O.R.E. (Victor Santiago Jr. to his mom), gets a lot of credit when it comes to realness--after all, he met the other half of his hip-hop duo in prison. However, his recent arrest for fighting at a Miami Fatburger is pretty weak. Police reports say he yelled at a man in line while shouting "Do you know who I am?" (that old a-hole standby) and tearing up the man's bundle of flowers. Authorities were unclear as to whether the bouquet was snitchin'.
The crime: Hitting his mom
Why it's lame: Bone Thugs-N-Harmony had some major hits in their day. Unfortunately, one of them was on group member Stanley Howse's mom. We've gotta say, few things in this world are less cool than fighting your mom.
The crime: Cell phone smashing
Why it's lame: Cudi has always seemed a tad on the self-destructive side. Just last June the Kanye protégé was arrested during a domestic disturbance with an unknown woman. He was cited for pulling a door off its hinges and spiking a cell phone into the wall. Wouldn't you know it, when police searched the apartment, they found a small amount of a "controlled substance." We hope the sky don't fall on him.
The crime: Speeding
Why it's lame: Chalk this one up to pure knuckleheadism. Flashy Outkast member Andre Benjamin was pulled over last year for doing 109 in a 65 zone. Yeah, that's 49 m.p.h. over the speed limit. For his trouble, he spent a few hours in prison and got slapped with a $1,300 fine. We're sure there's a booking photo "shake it like a Polaroid picture" joke in there somewhere.
The crime: Trespassing
Why it's lame: Hip-hop's biggest YouTube sensation tried to throw a party on the cheap in an abandoned house in Atlanta. Though he initially tried to weasel out of the charges by claiming he was shooting a music video there, police remained unconvinced, no matter how much he tried to Tell 'Em.