1. Det. Frank Drebin: “It’s the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year’s Day.”
2. Det. Frank Drebin: “Jane, since I’ve met you, I’ve noticed things that I never knew were there before…birds singing, dew glistening on a newly formed leaf, stoplights.”
3. Det. Frank Drebin: Now, Jane, what can you tell us about the man you saw last night?
Jane: He’s Caucasian.
Jane: Yeah, you know, a white guy. A moustache. About six-foot-three.
Det. Frank Drebin: Awfully big mustache.
4. Det. Frank Drebin: That’s the red-light district. I wonder why Savage is hanging around down there.
Ed: Sex, Frank?
Det. Frank Drebin: Uh, no, not right now, Ed.
5. Det. Frank Drebin: ”Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes.”
6. Det. Frank Drebin: “Cheer up, Ed. This is not good-bye. It’s just I won’t ever see you again.”
7. Det. Frank Drebin: “Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through.”
8. Dr. Rumack: “You’d better tell the captain we’ve got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.”
Stewardess: “A hospital? What is it?”
Dr. Rumack: “It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now.”
9. Dr. Rumack: “Can you fly this plane, and land it?”
Ted Striker: “Surely you can’t be serious.”
Dr. Rumack: “I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.”
10. Dr. Rumack: “What was it we had for dinner tonight?”
Elaine: “Well, we had a choice of steak or fish.”
Dr. Rumack: “Yes, yes, I remember, I had lasagna.”
And one for the kids, from “Scary Movie 4″:
11. President TK: “I just don’t get kids. Remind me to sign that abortion bill.”