On “SNL” the other night, cast member Jay Pharoah complained that there aren’t enough Thanksgiving-appropriate hip-hop tracks. We beg to differ. For as long as there’s been sugar in Sugar Hill Gang, MCs have been spitting about food (which is not to say “spitting food”). Want proof? Let’s check out some of hip hop’s most appetizing (and unappetizing) lyrics.
1. The Track: Clipse — “Popular Demand”
The Rhyme: “That new CL slide / Outside of Popeye’s, eatin’ chicken and fries”
Tasting Notes: Popeye’s chicken is just the best. You know how sometimes rappers get paid to name-drop products in a song? We’d like to get paid to name-drop Popeye’s.
2. The Track: Jay-Z — “Girls, Girls, Girls”
The Rhyme: “Now that’s Spanish chick, French chick, Indian and black / That’s fried chicken, curry chicken, damn I’m gettin’ fat / Arroz con pollo, french fries and crepe / An appetite for destruction but I scrape the plate.”
Tasting Notes: While all of the elements here are awesome (sign us up for the lady buffet as well!), we kind of take issue with Jigga’s balance of tastes. Would it kill him to get some vegetables in there?
3. The Track: MF Doom — “Kookies”
The Rhyme: “Don’t mess with the Ritz Bits, Wheat Thins, Saltine Triscuits / Matzos and Cheez-Its / Catch sugar fits every time he sees a nice pair of… / Chips Ahoy double chocolate chunk / Something with the bubble and the junk in the trunk”
Tasting Notes: We don’t know what Doom is complaining about here, crackers are the sh**. Maybe if he had some cheese he’d like them better.
4. The Track: Fat Boys — “All You Can Eat”
The Rhyme: “Give me some chicken, franks and fries / And you can pass me a lettuce, but I’m a pass it by.”
Tasting Notes: We could probably do an entire post of Fat Boys food-related lyrics. It was pretty much their main theme. This line, from an ode to an all-you-can-eat buffet, pretty much captures their grease-trap style. And while we might like a bit of lettuce on our burger, who are we to argue with the masters?
5. The Track: Ice Cube — “It Was A Good Day”
The Rhyme: “No barking from the dog, no smog / And momma cooked a breakfast with no hog / I got my grub on, but didn’t pig out / Finally got a call from a girl wanna dig out.”
Tasting Notes: No hog so…no bacon? We’d send that back if we were you.
6. The Track: Method Man — “METHOD Man”
The Rhyme: “Patty cake patty cake hey the Method Man / Don’t eat Skippy, Jif or Peter Pan / Peanut butter, cuz I’m not butter / In fact I snap back like a rubber / Band, I be Sam Sam I am/ And I don’t eat green eggs and ham / Style will hit ya, wham! Then goddamn / You be like oh sh** that’s the jam”
Tasting Notes: First MF Doom’s anti-crackers rant, now Method Man’s anti-peanut butter tirade. Why do rappers hate snacks?
7. The Track: Cam’ron — “Get ‘em Girls”
The Rhyme: “Y’all faking the fizzle, I’m caking for shizzle / F*** a Sizzler steak, my steak stay sizzled”
Tasting Notes: We’re pretty sure Killa Cam isn’t actually talking about red meat here. Call us old-fashioned, but we prefer our porterhouse without crack references.
8. The Track: Sugar Hill Gang — “Rapper’s Delight”
The Rhyme: “Have you ever went over a friends house to eat / And the food just ain’t no good? / I mean the macaroni’s soggy, the peas are mushed / And the chicken tastes like wood.”
Tasting Notes: No, Sugar Hill Gang, we can honestly say this has never happened to us. It sounds awful, though.
9. The Track: Three Six Mafia — “Sippin’ On Some Sizzurp”
The Rhyme: “We eat so many shrimp, we got iodine poisoning”
Tasting Notes: Shrimp are freaking great, provided you don’t think about how much they look like giant grubs. One thing that makes them less great: iodine poisoning. Still, with enough sizzurp we could choke them down.
10. The Track: Notorious BIG — “Big Poppa”
The Rhyme: “So we can steam on the way to the telly, go fill my belly / A T-bone steak, cheese eggs and Welch’s grape.”
Tasting Notes: Cheese eggs and steak together? Genius! You’ve done it again, Biggie.
11. The Track: Nas –- “Fried Chicken”
The Rhyme: “Fried Chicken you was my addiction / Dripping with hot cholest- / Like Greeks with his falafel, Italian with his to-mato pasta / What roti is to a rasta / Trapping me; You and your friend mac and cheese / Candy yams collard greens but you knocking me to my knees / It’s killing me when I’m inside / Nothing I need more than a fish fry.”
Tasting Notes: Nas throws out an entire soul food menu here and is making us really crave some candied yams. Be right back.
12. The Track: Lil Wayne –- “Stuntin’ Like My Daddy”
The Rhyme: “Sh**, I gotta eat…Yeah, even though I ate / It ain’t my birthday but I got my name on the cake.”
Tasting Notes: Who doesn’t want a cake with their name on it? It’s Weezy, though, so you’ve got to assume the cake is auto-tuned, which is unfortunate.