When you're splitting your days between the gym, the tanning salon, the laundromat and the club, there's little time to speak in complete sentences.
That's why the cast of the "Jersey Shore" has, for the better part of two seasons, lit the path to a life well-lived with a steady buzz of acronyms. But after 21 episodes and with season three a mere seven weeks away, we thought you could use a decoder to unlock the wisdom in the roommates' three-lettered proverbs.
With a little research, including help from our friends over at Jerseyshorequotes.com and The Daily Beast, we've put together what we can confidently call a totally comprehensive guide to "Jersey Shore" acronyms.
After you read this you might actually be able to understand sentences like: "You need to be on your tip-top game with your GTL to stay FTD to get the girls to DTF in MIA."
A.C. - (n.) Atlantic City. Just down the shore from Seaside Heights sits that great mecca of gambling and grease, Atlantic City.
Example: "It's A.C., bitch. What happens in A.C. stays in A.C." - Snooki inventing a catch phrase for those who can't make it to Vegas because they're on the no-fly list.
DTF (n.) Down to f--k. To The Situation, this quality is the most desirable characteristic a woman can have, beyond being a woman, of course.
Example: "So, we have two girls on the burner. We can get the original chicks, which are DTF, or we can get the blond ones." - The Situation
DTS - (n.) Down to snuggle. In season 1, Vinny was all about the end result -- about getting there instead of enjoying the journey. In Season 2, we had an older, more mature Vinny who, by his own admission, was DTS with Snooki.
Example: "This year I'm a little more DTS… down to snuggle with Snooki." - Vinny
FTD - (n.) Fresh to death. GTL ensures that you're FTD. No weakness = no grenades.
Example: Back to The Situation's famous acronym bender: "You need to be on your tip-top game with your GTL to stay FTD to get the girls to DTF in MIA."
GFF - (n.) Grenade-free foundation. First, you must know that a grenade is a less-than-attractive woman out with her attractive friends. The GFF refers to a coalition formed by the roommates to make the world safe from the tyranny of grenades. It first appears in the season 2 premiere although scholars maintain that this usage of "grenade" dates back to the Book of Leviticus.
Example: "Mike, Vinny, Pauly, MVP... and we are the most valuable players in MIA, supporting the GFF." - Vinny
GFA - (n.) Grenade free America. Heard first in the season 2 premiere, a grenade free America is what the GFF aspires to one day create. Put all the grenades on an island and what do you have? Something like England.
Example: "It's a GFA. A grenade free America." - The Situation
GFZ - (n.) Grenade-free zone. If you can't have a GFA, you can settle for a grenade-free zone. Baby steps.
Example: "As soon as we saw, we had to get them outta here, because this is a Grenade Free Zone." - The Situation
GTL - (n., v.) Gym, tan, laundry. The acronym that put "Jersey Shore" on the linguistic map and bore out the essentials of the modern Guido lifestyle. It's the "How To Win Friends and Influence People" of our generation, and it appears for the first time in episode 6 of season 1 when The Situation realized that the only thing keeping his abs from being worth a million dollars each was a catch phrase.
Example: "G.T.L. baby. Gym, Tanning, Laundry." - The Situation
GTS - (n., v.) Gym, tan, smush. Sammi tells Ronnie this under her breath just minutes into the season 2 premiere and Ronnie has been busting it out on Twitter.
Example: "GTS for next few days.. then Ohio on Fri to shut that b**ch down... Lets get it Athens" - Ronnie, on Twitter
IFF - (n.) I'm F--ked Federation. A federation founded by and catering to the kind of people who (1) go out to a club, (2) have a triple-kiss with two girls wearing a thong's worth of fabric between them, (3) crawl into bed with a former girlfriend who's constantly thinking about how to make the world more miserable and (4) brag about it. Or, in short, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro.
Example: "Ronnie's new nickname now is I.F.F. The I'm F--ked Foundation. He's a client and the president." - Pauly D
MIA - (n.) Miami. This one doesn't refer to those prisoners of war still missing in action. Rather, it's just a way for the roommates to refer to Miami, the location for season 2. Because "South Beach" just wasn't short enough.
Example: Once again, "You need to be on your tip-top game with your GTL to stay FTD to get the girls to DTF in MIA."
MVP - (n.) The collective of Mike, Vinnie and Pauly. When their powers combine, no woman can resist.
Example: "This is MVP night! Mike, Vinny, Pauly. Not to be confused with Beamer, Benz, or Bentley. Or Nissan, Honda, Chevy. Straight up and down, no playing around, no bullsh-t. Oh look, the wifebeater gang." - Pauly
O.G. - (n.) This is a variation on the classic "Original gangster." Pauly D calls Vinny's uncle Nino an O.G. in season 2, episode 8, when Nino spends the whole episode with a cigar in his mouth, letting his chest lettuce wilt in the hot tub and calling the situation "Mike Sanitation." Nino was a Guido back when Italians in Jersey were still telling people they were Swiss.
Example: "Uncle Nino is an O.G. an Original Guido." - Pauly
ACRONYMS THE ROOMATES MIGHT WANT TO START USING
BIO&LII - (idiom) Big Is Out & Lean Is In. This was The Situation's answer to J-WOWW and Snooki's gorilla-chasing in the season 1 finale. Sample quote from Jenni: "I see a bunch of gorilla juiceheads. Tall, completely jacked, steroids, like multiple growth hormones. That's, like, the type that I'm attracted to."
GGC - (n.) Grenade-grundle-chode. The odds are pretty damn high that the first time any living thing was referred to by this name came when Snooki called Marco this in Season 2, Episode 7. Then she called a bunch of guys the same thing two episodes later.
TsT - (n.) T-shirt time. Watch the hell out. TsT is the time when the tank-top comes off and the "shirt-before-the-shirt" gives way to The Shirt, which probably has a dragon on it. T-shirt time first entered popular consciousness in season 2, episode 2, when The Situation says "we ain't wearing this shirt when we go out –- this is the shirt before the shirt" and Pauly D finishes with "we sit on the couch with our tank tops until it's T-Shirt Time." Phrase coined.
**This list is ever-evolving. Did we miss anything? Get anything wrong? Let us know!