It’s homecoming time everyone! All around the country, teenagers are smearing on too much make-up and jumping into ill-fitting suits to take part in that great fall tradition that separates the cool kids from the weirdos. One of those cool kids is Dakota Fanning, who was crowned her high school’s homecoming queen last weekend. Congrats Dakota; we’re thrilled! But we also have to ask: Did you have any real competition? It’s just that there probably aren’t any other gals in her high school who are HOLLYWOOD MOVIE STARS.
All of this got us wondering, what if there was a homecoming for all of young Hollywood? Would Dakota win? Hell, would she even make it onto the ballot?
We put together our own homecoming ballot of pop culture superstars and Dakota didn’t make the cut. Want to know who did? Click below to find out and to vote on who should be crowned king and queen. We added a few other categories to determine who should chaperon the soiree and what the all-important hors d’ouerves should be.
Begin stuffing the ballots immediately. Voting will close at 10 p.m. E.T.
And remember: under NO circumstances should you drink the punch.
We chose these five young men based on their fame and success. One stars in a gigantically successful film series with a huge following, others have sold massive amounts of records, and another is a fan favorite on one of the most popular shows on television. But who should be crowned King? On the ballot: Taylor Lautner, Soulja Boy, Justin Bieber, Nick Jonas, Chris Colfer.
To be named homecoming queen is a badge of honor that one lucky lady from every high school class carries with her for life. We guarantee you that just about every homecoming queen has saved her crown. So choose carefully. We selected a panel of wholesome (or formerly wholesome) women with hordes of fans and bright futures in their respective worlds of acting and singing. On the ballot: Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez, Kristen Stewart, Miley Cyrus, Emma Watson.
Chaperones usually come in male and female pairs. Their job is to hang out on the side of the gymnasium, encourage wallflowers to mix it up, and of course, make sure the freak dancing doesn’t turn into freak baby-making. Chaperones can’t make a homecoming dance but they can certainly break one. So we selected four celebrity couples who would be a sh*tload of fun and might even take the microphone for a killer song (“Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It,” anyone?). Your choices for chaperones: Will Smith and Jada Pinkett, Russell Brand and Katy Perry, Seth Rogen and fiancé Lauren Miller and Jay-Z and Beyoncé.
You’ve got to have some grub, right? But what goes best with your baby blue sit? Delectable Bagel Bites? A fist full of mini wieners? Healthy crap like carrots and celery? Do the honors and choose the hors d’œuvres for the dance from this menu: Pigs in a blanket, Bagel Bites, carrot and celery sticks, or deep fried Oreos.