Lil Wayne’s long-awaited “I Am Not A Human Being” dropped today. And Weezy is right — he’s not a human being, at least not a normal one. Because when most people go to prison they don’t release albums.
It turns out that Lil Wayne’s list of accomplishments, triumphs and feats from behind bars doesn’t end there. Here are some of the other things he’s done in the six months he’s been locked up:
+ Freestyled over the phone with Drake
Lesson: prison phone booths don’t provide optimum sound quality.
+ Learned how to help depressed people
Weezy’s prison job is helping fellow inmates who are on suicide watch. Apparently it’s the highest paying job in jail at 50 cents an hour.
Oh, there’s more.
+ Offered positive encouragement to various fans
Weezy told Lucife to “STAY IN SCHOOL” and “Keep writing.” Notice the emphasis on stay in school? He knows of what he speaks.
+ Got back in tune with his spiritual side
Lil Wayne has repeatedly written that he spends much of his free time reading the Bible. Can he crack the Christian rock charts post-release?
+ Got sued for royalties by Bangladesh
The producer, not the nation.
+ Secured the four spot on Forbes’ annual 20 richest rappers list
With that plum counseling job, he’s only getting richer.
+ Kicked ass at Uno
Yeah, that’s right. He’s awesome at Old Maid and checkers too.
+ Went live on the air with Funk Flex on HOT 97 and listened to lots of ESPN radio
Someone give this man a show of his own.
+ Spent a lot of time working out and bulking up
Ever heard of prison cell push-ups?
+ Expressed his love for tennis and made U.S. Open predictions for Sports Illustrated
His BF Rafael Nadal won.