Racoon-eyed "Gossip Girl" star Taylor Momsen, who also fronts the post-grunge band "The Pretty Reckless," set her dog's neutered balls ablaze in a fire pit in her band's studio. Think about that for a second.
OK. Now, being a teenager is often tough. Teenage angst can make young people do pretty reckless things. But when an adolescent's pyromaniac stage--a virtual rite of passage--meets a dog's neutered testicles, well that's bush league. It's a violent display against the very core of the masculine identity.
Maybe Taylor doesn't appreciate the importance of a man's testicles. That's reasonable. After all, she's 17 and doesn't have balls herself. Fine, we get it.
So here are a few reminders for young women out there considering a nut sack roast:
1. Men (and dogs) like their balls. That's why we hold them all the time.
2. They're called "family jewels" for a reason. They should be protected with the same care as a rare diamond.
3. Don't hit our balls, flick our balls or remove our balls (unless done with veterinarian supervision and lots of anesthesia).
4. And if for whatever reason our testicles get removed--for the love of GOB, don't burn them!