The Unparalleled Wisdom Of Beavis and Butt-Head

The year was 1993, and it seemed that all America wanted was some T.P. for its bunghole.

Luckily, two men were up to the task. Seventeen years ago, “Beavis and Butt-Head” debuted on MTV, running for four years and sending a whole nation of lawmakers into a frenzy about The State Of America’s Youth. Turns out they had reason to be concerned. In 199 episodes and one feature-length movie, Beavis and Butt-Head aimed a flickering glow at what we were to become, predicting, in all their lazy, snarky, acne-smeared glory, the Internet Generation.

Before there were LOLcats and Failblog, there were two guys on a couch talking about butts and making dumb jokes at everyone else’s expense. Nothing was sacred. Everything sucked. Especially adults.

And yet, these crudely-animated boys who skipped school so they could make fun of music videos had so much to teach us. Listen closely between the “huh huhs” and the “heh hehs” and you’ll find that Beavis and Butt-Head were talking about love, relationships and life’s eternal truths. Don’t believe it? Click below for some of the deepest thinking to ever come from two couch potatoes.

On Technology
“Don’t be a dumbass, Beavis! There’s always been TV, there’s just more channels now.” – Butt-Head
“Oh yeah, progress is cool!” – Beavis

On Love
“If you love something, and you set it free, and it doesn’t come back… you’re a dumbass!” – Butt-Head

On Intelligence
“Some people are dumb.” – Butt-Head

On Man’s Quest For Perfection
“You didn’t score.” – Butt-Head
“Yeah, but I came close.” – Beavis
“Yeah, but close only counts in horseshoes and like… lemonade.” – Butt-Head
“What?” – Beavis

On Objective Truth
“I don’t like stuff that sucks!” – Butt-Head

On The Essential Differences Between the Sexes
“Huh-huh, we’ve got testicles. – Butt-Head

On The Human Mind
“Thinking sucks.” –Beavis

On Man’s Ability To Shape His World
“Hammers are cool.” – Butt-Head
“Yeah, I like to take hammers, and just break stuff, just break stuff.” – Beavis

On Fate
“The future sucks. Change it.” – Beavis
“I’m pretty cool Beavis, but I cannot change the future.” – Butt-Head

On Modern Communication
“I hate words.” – Butt-Head
“Words suck.” – Beavis
“If I wanted to read, I’d go to school.” – Butt-Head

On Whether Or Not Time Sucks
“Time sucks!” – Butt-Head